I was reading through a few posts on gratitude, and came across some comments in which I began to notice a certain ideology behind why gratitude hasn't worked out for some people. Admittedly not all things work exceptionally well for every single person. However one of the underlying ideas seemed to be that merely writing down lists of things someone is grateful for ought to bring happiness, success, money and love, etc. This is perpetrated when there is no explanation as to how gratitude works, so I thought I will share with you how it worked for me. 

No, it was not by mindlessly writing down lists of things I was grateful for. Every morning I took time to think and reflect, upon doing so I was able to list down specifically what I was grateful for. As I mentioned in my previous post, I found that pin-pointing what I was grateful for, such as support from my family, helped me more than writing something in general like, 'I'm grateful for my family'. 

While it almost seems miraculous, the way gratitude works; I assure you it is not a miracle. What it promotes is a shift in the mindset. Being grateful allows you to think about what you have, instead of what you haven't got. 

Imagine someone who experiences a minor blip like in his/ her relationship. It's very easy in this case for that person to look at themselves negatively, engage in self-blaming, and be preoccupied with the classic,  'Where have I gone wrong?', or 'What is wrong with me?' thoughts. 

This person would then nit-pick everything that's wrong with the relationship, everything that's wrong with the other person in the relationship, and with emotions running high, they will engage in distancing or reacting negatively towards the other person. They would soon realise that the world is against them leading to the 'Why me?', 'Why is the world keeping us apart?' thought process. Notice the domino effect that takes place.

Imagine instead, someone appreciating the fact that they have someone to share their life with or someone who is grateful for having a continuous source of support and strength.

In being grateful, we open our eyes and widen our perspective. We look for solutions or work around the problem. Whereas in the earlier situation, a person will continually consume time to think about everything that is going wrong, in this situation a person who is grateful will immediately pick up the phone to call or drop a message to their S/O or schedule a time to talk through what's going right and what's going wrong. The other person too will begin to notice how much more effort you are putting into the relationship, and will value the commitment. 

Do you think this person will now experience more love in their life, more success in their relationship, and feel more happy about the place they are in at the moment?

It's not all that magical or miraculous now is it?

Gratitude is a shift in perspective which logically explains why people who engage in the practice of gratitude experience love, success and happiness in a wholesome manner.

So there you go, the thought that merely listing things you're grateful for will enable you to lead a more fulfilling life is a common misconception.

Gratitude is a thought, a feeling, and an action. So make sure you experience it wholly.

Let me know what your thoughts are on practicing gratitude.

Thank you so much for reading,
Much Love,

I am currently trying out a new morning routine. As I have mentioned before on my blog, I am not the biggest fan of routine. I find that once the tasks get repetitive, life can seem pretty mundane. However there is no doubt about how routine increases efficiency, that is, it lessens decision fatigue, and enables us to make the most of our time. So I've been trying to build up a morning routine with activities I was already engaging in, and ones that were necessary additions to improve overall health. 

I have devised a checklist to keep up with these activities, and if you're anyone like me you can download this and keep your morning activities in check. 

I like to switch up the order in which I engage in these activities, because as I said, routine becomes dull for me after a while. This way, I can still complete all of these tasks but trick my mind into thinking it is not routine. 

First things first. I make my bed in the morning, or on most mornings. It's one of those activities that I used to slack on, but I am getting better at it. I do this for two reasons, a) it serves as the first tick in the list of activities that already makes me feel like I've done something productive, and b) there's nothing like coming home to a bed already made. 

Next, I do my morning stretches or I exercise. I have recently noticed a whole lot of body aches and pains- AAH I'm getting old! Just to ensure that someone doesn't mistake me for a 90-year old, I've decided that it's high time I do some exercise in the morning. I usually follow the warm-up, dance workouts, and cool-down tutorials by Danielle Peazer (I'll link her YouTube channel below). It's already helping me so much, and I find that it boosts my energy for the day.

Next I have a shower because I stink after the workout, obviously. I have previously posted my shower essentials, and these are still some of the products I use in the shower. Let me know in a comment down below if you'd like to see an updated version. 

Next, I have my breakfast and tea. Sometimes I would have tea after I make the bed, because I've been woken up with a cup mug of tea every morning since childhood. It's just one of those Sri Lankan things. 

I read the daily news while I have tea. I also use this time to catch up on my favourite bloggers on bloglovin' and vloggers (usually the vlogs by Zoella, Alfie/pointlessblog or Jess and Gabriel Conte), or listen to a podcast. I will do a post about some new podcasts I've been loving soon. 

After I do this I catch up on Pacifica, in terms of the duration of sleep, and mindfulness exercises like deep breathing or a 5-minute meditation.

Next, I engage in a simple gratitude exercise, and write down three affirmations because I love a confidence-boost early in the morning. I've already written a post about Gratitude Journaling, so you can check it out for more details. While I do not use Pacifica for this gratitude exercise, just note that if you get the premium version of Pacifica ($4.49 billed monthly for an year), you can complete gratitude exercises on the app itself. 

Next I set the intention for the day, which is essentially one of the bigger goals I want to achieve on a given day. I then go through my beloved agenda to check other tasks, and I start my day tackling them based on the level of priority. If I am supposed to head out for the day, I usually use an app to remind me of those tasks. Currently I am using Todoist for this.

That pretty much sums up my mornings these days.

Links:

Instagram

Danielle Peazer YouTube Channel

Do you have a morning routine? Let me know what you think about developing morning routines in a comment down below.

Thank you so much for reading,

Much Love,

Hey everyone! Hope you've all been well. Today, I thought I will share with you my reflections and experiences from the month of April.

Avurudhu Celebrations

Kolam

 Vesak Celebrations

#Breathe
Reaching Goals

Thank you for reading!

Much love,

The one thing you ought to know about me is that I have a penchant for books, and blog posts on personal development. If you follow me on Instagram (@sakuamanda), you would know that I went all out at the Big Bad Wolf book sale last year, and got myself plenty of self-help books. In reading them I noticed a common theme: gratitude.

Gratitude simply means being thankful, and acknowledging your blessings. It involves a mental shift from a focus on what is lacking or what is wrong with life, to what is going right and what is  available to you in abundance. The author of 'Positivity', Barbara L. Frederickson, maintains that the mere act of counting your blessings each day can increase positivity. It can transform what seems like mundane everyday aspects of life into events that make your heart skip a beat.

Furthermore she suggests that positivity, and in extension, gratitude opens our hearts. This creates an urge to give back, and engage in acts to 'pay it forward', thereby inspiring others and nourishing our social relationships. However a conscious mental shift to acknowledge the positive and find creative means of transforming the negative into positive is necessary.

I figured, if writing down a few things I'm grateful for in the morning would make me a more positive person, why not try it and see. After all, hypotheses testing is what we do. The results from that short amount of time were resounding and hence were worth writing about, in my opinion.

How I did it:

While there are ample journals available online, I found them to be somewhat overwhelming for a beginner. Hence I created a simple template for a journal entry for each day with just two slots to fill out (apart from the date and an inspiring quote). This way I also have no excuses for not completing the daily entries.

How it went:



The first day was admittedly tough. I had no idea what to write about, and hence wrote vague sentiments about feeling grateful for my family, and friends. In the next few days I learned to be more specific about what I was grateful for, like the support of my friends or the unconditional acceptance I receive from my parents. I noticed how I was more perceptive of the subtleties of every day things, especially the ones taken for granted. For example, I noted how much I appreciated my mom making me a cup of tea in the morning (she makes the best tea!).

In recapping my day, I found that despite a few negative incidents I had plenty of reasons to be happy. Something as simple as a compliment from someone, or an epic meme shared by a friend made it into the highlights of the day. I realised how easy it was to dwell on the negative aspects of life, maybe a put-down from a coworker, or experiencing difficult emotions like anxiety about an impending presentation. Being completely absorbed by the darkness of these events, it'd easy to forget to appreciate the more beautiful and positive moments of the day. This reminded me of my favourite quote by Dumbledore, that  'Happiness can be found even in the darkest times if one only remembers to turn on the light'.

Would I develop this as a habit?:
Absolutely! If anything, this little experiment served as a reminder for me to be more appreciative of what I have. As poetic as it sounds, I now find it relieving to take a few minutes to look at the pink-orange sky in the evening to be thankful for everything that I have.
I urge all of you to try this, even if it's just for a week, because you WILL see a change in your life. You can find a gratitude journal online, or simply download this worksheet and fill out the slots to compile your own gratitude journal.